Time for Judgy WASP Mom to go antiquing in Stars Hollow! I hope she buys Miss Patty’s discarded drums and dances nude atop them for Spacey Grandpa.
There are no baby pictures of Lorelai because she had an abnormally large head as a baby. She was unsightly, which was probably the one and only time anyone will ever write that about Lorelai Gilmore.
Rumor has it that she looked like this:
There are things in this life that we as humans wait for. Our first kiss. Our first sexual experience. Godzilla. We stand on the shore waiting for that fateful day when the thing we’ve always wondered about will crest the horizon and BE. What will it be like? Will we like it? Hate it? Be disappointed? This is the true meaning of life.
This time, the Gilmores are the ones standing on the shores awaiting the Unknown. They’re awaiting…Spacey Grandpa’s mom, Lorelai the First (who must be about 1000 years old.) She will descend from the skies and bring with her…delicious tea cookies? Jaunty hats? CORGIES??????
Whatever it is, Judgy WASP Mom sure as hell won’t like it.
We pick up right where we left off – Rory home from her date with Floppy. She doesn’t want to tell Lorelai why they broke up. She starts throwing away all the things that remind her of Floppy – considering he would routinely knock on her window and he’s come over for movie night, I’m guessing this episode is the one where Rory burns the house to the ground?
Stars Hollow is really big on “events.” The historical reenactment. The Christmas Parade. The Horn of Plenty. And now some Firelight celebration. Yay firelove or some such shit. Can’t you people ignore your neighbors and exchanged tight-lipped smiles at Starbucks like the rest of us do? All this involvement and “town spirit” gives me the agita. (Also, the fact that this town is so obviously the Warner Brothers lot is pretty fucking hilarious.)
In addition to the weird town happiness celebration, it’s Rory and Floppy Hair’s 3 month anniversary. It’s adorable that they’re keeping track by month the way you only do when you’re in high school. Awww….
Man, oh man. Am I SO GLAD they brought Rory’s estranged father onto this show! I have to be honest – there are a few things happening on this show that I care about more that Christopher. Here’s my very short list:
Things Happening on the Gilmore Girls that I Care About More Than Christopher
1) Everything
That’s it. That’s the list.
In this episode Floppy Hair walks face first into the landmine that is the gender wars. Rory and Lorelai get a lot of joy out of watching Donna Reed be the perfect 50s mother. By “joy” i mean “they have a lot of fun ripping that shit apart.” Floppy says, “Maybe we should bring back the 50s when women needed their husband’s permission to have their own bank account!” Lorelai and Rory look at him like this:
And so it begins.
Episode 13! Halfway through the first season, baby!
I was listening to the Gilmore Guys podcast and they mentioned there are 153 episodes. 153? Do you know I’ll never be done reviewing this show unless I step up my game?
Lorelai is running the town rummage sale, meaning her house looks like an episode of Hoarders. Luke drops off some stuff, including a bag of clothes, and Lorelai immediately gravitates toward the tackiest thing in his clothing bag. This woman loves rhinestones more than most drag queens.
Last Ditch Effort 
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