My first instinct upon seeing the title of this episode was to post Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle Again.” But it’s played out! It’s been done! It’s totes over! So I’ll link to the Aerosmith song that 12-year-old Jen would listen to on repeat for hours once the object of her affections (unrequited, of course) got a girlfriend:
I think most people my age had an Aerosmith phase. If you didn’t, that means you are better than me.
The Netflix screencap as this episode loads is of Luke and Lorelai at a funeral. I’ve been to two funerals in under a month, forgive me if that colors this review.
The cold open has Lorelai snarking at her mother’s numerous answering machine messages. Sometimes I thank the powers that be that television exists – how else would today’s kids know what a fucking answering machine is? Or flip phones? Or unironic 90s fashion?
It was a magical time.
The hardest part of these reviews is figuring out how to start them. Do I talk about whatever is going on in the cold open, which is only relevant to the episode half of the time? Do I focus on the theme of the episode (which isn’t always evident in the cold open)? My life is so difficult.
The episode begins and already I’m disappointed – no weird town festival? An empty diner? Lane trapped by her mother and forced to eat Melba toast? Boo. The most interesting thing we get is a display of Luke’s hand-eye coordination when he catches the phone.
This is what would happen if I tried to catch the phone in this scene:
Sorry it’s taken me so long to get this one up. Lots of me falling asleep on the couch instead of doing work. In high school I wanted to start a church called “The Church of Sleep” because sleep is better than most all things (I’ll let you ponder on what those “other things” could be :winky face: :rolls eyes: :kills self:).
We start with another dinner cold open and some talk of dead people and Nazis, which, in 2015, is quite the overlapping Venn diagram. Uplifting!
One thought on this episode’s cold open – what kind of kid writes on legal pads in high school? Shouldn’t Rory be angling for a fancy Five Star notebook? Or a poor child to follow her around and take notes for her like all the rest of her rich buddies have?
We open this episode with Rory in English class with a Zach Braff knockoff teacher. If I’m not mistaken, Rory had English class back in episode two with an older professor who looked nothing like a guy who got lost in New Jersey once and thought he needed to write a coming of age story about it starring himself and Natalie Portman. I’m guessing original English teacher got fired because he, I don’t know, showed his dick to the lunch lady? And Lunch Lady was like, “That’s not organic!” and threw a frying pan at him. Her aim was true, he ended up in the hospital, and now Zach Braff works at Chilton.
In watching this show I have decided that every ridiculous over the top thing they show rich people doing is fact and not embellished at all for entertainment purposes. Rich people always have dinner by candlelight. Rich people are overbearing and pushy. Rich people are so consumed with whatever they think about all day (money?) that they cannot tell the difference between male and female staff. This is my Rich People Head Canon. So it is written, so shall it be done.
We open this episode on Boring Dinner with WASP family. Do you think that if Bruce Wayne sat down and watched this cold open he’d be happy his parents were dead because all Rich WASP people are boring as fuck? (HEAD CANON, remember? From like a paragraph ago?)
Side note – the title sequence of this show, in addition to being an Instagram filter before its time, would fit in quite well in Too Many Cooks.
Last Ditch Effort 
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