The girls are still searching for a breakfast place since the great Luke/Lorelai Misplaced Anger Fight has made Luke’s a No Go Zone. They settle on…Sookie’s. They make a woman who cooks for a living cook during her off hours because they themselves are too lazy to pour cereal into a bowl. And they don’t go to Sookie’s house carrying bundles of pancake mix and eggs and fruit – Sookie pays for all of this out of her own pocket.
The episode begins and we’ve jumped ahead a few days (? I think?). Rory’s wrist is still in a cast, Broody is still gone, and Lorelai won’t tell Rory what happened between her and Luke the night of the accident. Lorelai and Rory walk to Luke’s to discover that he’s closed up and “gone fishing.” Rory thinks this is because Lorelai and Luke had a fight, Lorelai is all “nuh uh! LA LA LA! NOT LISTENING”
Another day in Stars Hollow, another Movie in the Square night! What’s the feature presentation? The same movie Taylor has chosen for the last three years, the sticky-sweet classic, The Yearling. I know I’ve seen this movie, but it was about a million years ago and I don’t remember much outside there’s a deer in it. If this was Homeward Bound I could tell you everything about it (including how it rips your heart out and stomps on it for a full 90 minutes. Also, many animals died during filming of that gut punch of a movie.)
The Netflix screencap as this episode loads is of Luke and Lorelai at a funeral. I’ve been to two funerals in under a month, forgive me if that colors this review.
The cold open has Lorelai snarking at her mother’s numerous answering machine messages. Sometimes I thank the powers that be that television exists – how else would today’s kids know what a fucking answering machine is? Or flip phones? Or unironic 90s fashion?
It was a magical time.
Something is seriously wrong with Spacey Grandpa. We start this episode with Judgy WASP Mom and Spacey Grandpa embroiled in a fight – he’s been turning down all social engagements on their behalf, even though Judgy WASP Mom is on the committee of several of the organizations. He says it’s because he’s “too busy” to attend. Can’t Judgy WASP Mom go on her own? Or does the very idea that a woman would attend an event without her husband a clear sign of my “poor breeding?”
That is what this episode is about after all – Rory being presented to the very best of society as a lady of “good breeding.” She’s like a show pony!!
I started off the day with the Gilmore Girls theme song stuck in my head. As the day progressed, it became the Golden Girls theme and then, to my never-ending shame, the Friends theme song. To try to rid myself of that horrible Friends theme, I actively tried to switch back to the Gilmore Girls theme. I can’t! I can’t remember it now! It’s like the suck of that damn song has shorted out my memory! (But I can still remember the Golden Girls theme. If the Golden Girls theme was on American Horror Story: Coven, it would have become the Supreme.)
There are things in this life that we as humans wait for. Our first kiss. Our first sexual experience. Godzilla. We stand on the shore waiting for that fateful day when the thing we’ve always wondered about will crest the horizon and BE. What will it be like? Will we like it? Hate it? Be disappointed? This is the true meaning of life.
This time, the Gilmores are the ones standing on the shores awaiting the Unknown. They’re awaiting…Spacey Grandpa’s mom, Lorelai the First (who must be about 1000 years old.) She will descend from the skies and bring with her…delicious tea cookies? Jaunty hats? CORGIES??????
Whatever it is, Judgy WASP Mom sure as hell won’t like it.
Last Ditch Effort 
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