I would like to give a quick memorial shout out to the umpteenth pair of earbuds that have met their doom thanks to my cat. I thought I’d outsmarted him by leaving them in my purse. He caught on and was just waiting for the day I left the purse unzipped to make his move. RIP, purple earbuds. You served me well.

Now what am I going to do when I get “Hotline Bling” stuck in my head? Is there a more insidious song than “Hotline Bling”? It was released about 10,000 internet years ago, everyone has stopped photoshopping Drake into memes, so you’d think you’d be safe. You haven’t heard it for weeks, and then, suddenly, springing up in the back of your mind like a whack-a-mole: “YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE…”

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