FIVE. MORE. REVIEWS. LEFT.

We start in a dressing room where Rory is trying on suits for interviews. Lorelai is playing the role of Bad Friend Who Always Gets You Into Trouble by trying to con her into going on a road trip to a wedding. Rory keeps saying that she has too much to do and can’t go, and she says it while changing. Normally, we the view would believe that Rory is indeed changing her clothes because she keeps coming out of the stall in new outfits. But, no. The director does not trust us to know this, so we keep getting this shot:

Does this director have a foot fetish? Was this filmed by Quentin Tarantino?

Rory, who for some reason has not been back to school for what feels like a billion episodes, is in New York with Smarmy. He’s being an asshole, because that’s what he is, and Poppa Smarmy shows up at the door to tell him to get his dumb ass into the office. Smarmy’s all, “Whatever! I’ll do what I want! :Sits down: :crosses arms: :mopes:” Rory points out that she kind of agrees with his dad. Yeah, Smarmy fucked up. Ok. Everyone fucks up. But he’s not dealing with it, he’s just moping around and hiding from any consequences because he “feels bad.”

Another man who has decided that he has no responsibilities and can just mope around like an overgrown child is Spacey Grandpa. He’s not dealing with his new diet and forced recovery very well. Instead of making the best of a bad situation, which is really all he can do at this point, he just lays around watching golf and refusing to talk to Judgy WASP Mom about any of the business the needs to be attended to. Lorelai gets him to sign a tax form so everyone considers it progress because he dared to move instead of revert to an invertebrate state.

As Lorelai is trying to help Judgy WASP Mom with the computer, Rory calls to tell her she’s totally in on the road trip. Judgy WASP Mom hears about it and she’s in, too.

Lane and Zach kidnap Luke and make him eat dinner with them because they are so bored of each other that they want to simultaneously die. They also want Luke to be the godfather for their twins. Luke says yes even though he doesn’t want to.

During their trip Rory tells Lorelai not to talk so much about how great Mia is in front of Judgy WASP Mom. But she does anyway. When Mia calls to check to see if they got into the hotel ok, she learns that Judgy WASP Mom is with them and asks her to come to the wedding. When they get there, Judgy WASP Mom gets more upset because she sees how close the girls are to Mia and how not close they are to her.

Adding to the creep factor of his “I LIKE TO SURPRISE YOU!” thing, Smarmy shows up at Mia’s wedding. Yeah, that makes you feel like this is a guy who will leave you alone when you break up with him and not track you down and set you on fire. To her credit, Rory tells him that this “grand gesture” crap isn’t impressive anymore. For most of us, it never was. Smarmy operates under the assumption that he can act however he wants as long as he says he’s sorry when he’s done. He doesn’t actually have to be sorry and he doesn’t have to change he behavior in any meaningful way. As long as the word “sorry” is uttered, he thinks you have to forgive him. What he fails to realize is an empty apology is worse than no apology at all. You can say you’re sorry but if you don’t mean it and you don’t take steps to do better in the future, there was no point in you apologizing.

I’m so proud of Rory in this scene. She finally tells Smarmy that he doesn’t get to act like an asshole and then expect to “explain” it all to her to make it all better. She’s really grown as a character. There a lot of negative things to be said about season 7 (what happens to Lane, Lorelai and C-Money, whatever the fuck is going on with Luke) but this scene is not one of them. This and the two most recent episodes where Judgy WASP Mom has to confront the possibility of not having Spacey Grandpa around anymore are good moments for both characters.

Zach continues to bother Luke at the diner because he doesn’t want to be a father. Lane doesn’t want to be a mother, so I can’t see how this will possibly go wrong! During his bothering of Luke, we have a Hero Extra who looks right at the camera:

At the wedding, Lorelai talks to a man in a terrible sweater:

Judgy WASP Mom is making everyone miserable and uncomfortable because she’s dealing with “painful memories” of when Lorelai left with Rory. I understand she was hurt. But it’s over. All she can do is make her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter better going forward.

Smarmy, who sucks all the dicks, is standing outside Mia’s house being creepy. If only Pokemon Go had existed back then, he could have told people he was hanging around because he was trying to catch Pokemon (I caught a Pokemon in Target today.) Rory goes to talk to him because she hasn’t grown as much as I’d hoped, and he tells her that he quit his job. Wasn’t the whole conflict between Smarmy and his dad how he couldn’t quit because he was expected to take over the family business? That’s why he felt like he had no options at Yale and felt like he was forced down one path. In any case, he quit. Rory is proud of him, meaning she took his dumb ass back. (BOOOOO-URNS!)

The girls go back to the hotel room to watch The Pursuit of Happyness and eat candy. Lane has (what she thinks of as) her life-ruining babies.