Category: Entertainment/Pop Culture

Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 2, Episode 5 “Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy”

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EXT. BEACH – DAWN

JEN lies facedown on the beach, unmoving. Her clothes are tattered, her hair wet and matted. Blood trickles slowly from the corner of her mouth and drips onto the pristine white sand. This is it. This is the end.

Suddenly, dawn BREAKS on the horizon. The sun shines onto Jen’s face. Her eyes squint in response and she raises her face toward the restorative light.

JEN
(whispering)
It’s over…The Discount Braff wedding arc is over…

Joyful tears pour down Jen’s cheeks. She smiles. She’s made it. She’s survived.

FADE OUT

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Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 2, Episode 4 “The Road Trip to Harvard”

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Dear TV Jesus:

I am a simple woman who does not ask for much – Everyone looking beautiful and utterly destroyed by life in Mad Men, actual dragons on Game of Thrones, BabyBruce and BabySelina sharing a smile in Gotham. I am easy to please. Today I break my prayer silence to ask that this episode of the Gilmore Girls be the last episode featuring the ridiculous Discount Braff wedding plot line. I will not spend time talking about how this plot line is a desperate attempt to keep Luke and Lorelai apart while the writers work out an actual story arc for Luke’s character. I will not mention how this plot line is a stunt that really should have been pulled in a later season in a desperate attempt to keep fleeing viewers from jumping ship. And I will certainly not point out, again, that Discount Braff is one boring motherfucker who I can barely picture having coffee with Lorelai let alone doing God’s Naughty Twerk with her.

In Broadcasting’s Name We Pray,

A-Mad Men.

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Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 2, Episode 3 “Red Light on the Wedding Night”

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The episode’s title either means that there will be no wedding night (YAY!) OR it means that prostitution/a Red Light District will somehow be involved. I don’t judge anyone for what they do in their bedrooms (as long as all parties are consenting adults!) but that seems a little risqué for a wedding night. But if that’s what Lorelai/Discount Braff are into…

Be GGG, Robin. You’d think Batman would have taught you that already!!

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Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 2, Episode 2 “Hammers and Veils”

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Lorelai and Rory decide to go wedding dress shopping. I hope Lorelai has a better time than I did – my wedding dress experience was horrible because I am both fat and busty. Every salesperson who saw me walk in got that horrified “Oh no. Please no.” look in their eye. Then they hid in the back, lighting candles and leaving offerings to the gods while praying that I wouldn’t ask for help that they couldn’t give. You know how they say every bride is beautiful? That’s a god damned lie. After everything I went through to get a dress that didn’t look like a white sack with some pearls sewn onto it, I still ended up looking like a fatter, much uglier Kim Kardashian in that couch dress. Everyone at my wedding was like:

Somehow I made it down the aisle.

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Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 1, Episode 21 “Love, Daisies and Troubadours”

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I started off the day with the Gilmore Girls theme song stuck in my head. As the day progressed, it became the Golden Girls theme and then, to my never-ending shame, the Friends theme song. To try to rid myself of that horrible Friends theme, I actively tried to switch back to the Gilmore Girls theme. I can’t! I can’t remember it now! It’s like the suck of that damn song has shorted out my memory! (But I can still remember the Golden Girls theme. If the Golden Girls theme was on American Horror Story: Coven, it would have become the Supreme.)

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Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 1, Episode 20 “P.S. I Lo…”

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EPISODE 20!!! Oh shit, I am SO CLOSE to the end of the first season. I hope this episode has more exciting plot points than last episode – the only noteworthy thing from that one was “Judgy WASP Mom wears ugly shoes.”

During the cold open, Lorelai and Rory play “One Two Three He’s Yours” which is a game where they get three chances to “find” a husband based on the random men that walk by. Lorelai gets stuck with Kirk from the supermarket and is sad. Rory gets an eyeful of Floppy and is sad.

I’ve always found the best way to start any story is from a place where everyone is sad and would like to die. It makes the audience feel good.

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